Matthew & Grace: Matthew's Story
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She was smart, beautiful and funny, and most of all, she loved God.
February 11, 2007: Sunday morning I walked into Sunday School with the other Young Adults at Brainard Avenue Baptist Church. It was my second week back after being gone just over two years in California.
I had met the church and felt at home and accepted and appreciated back in 2003, and with that knew that I was to relocate at least for a while to Chicago after spending a few more years at home. After spending just over 2 years back in California, I returned to Chicago at the end of January 2007 and thanks to the generosity of friends church family in the area I was putting down roots.
Little did I know where those roots would grow and how my life was to change. Soon.
Back to that Sunday, February 11th. In my visits back to Chicago while living in California, I'd met some new members of the Sunday School class, students at Moody Bible Institute who were able to drive out to the suburbs for Sunday services at Brainard. It was good to see these people again in addition to the regulars and long-timers.
The Moody students had brought friends this Sunday. One young lady, in her first semester at Moody, had been searching for a church she could feel at home at while attending school, had taken advantage of her friend's extra car seats, and was visiting the church for the first time.
The quiet, beautiful girl did not return for a few weeks.
When she did visit Brainard again, I made a point of talking with her for a few minutes. Making her feel welcome, I told myself.
It began as a friendship, nothing special. But I quickly moved beyond an average interest in her.
This was a Godly woman, beautiful, caring, very loving. All that attracted me very intensely. I had to get to know her better.
And so I did. Grace visited family in Washington for spring break. I missed her those weeks she did not come to Brainard.
I had offered to drive students to church from Moody when they needed extra seats, and one beautiful spring day they took me up on the offer. Three students needed a ride and so I went out early Sunday morning to pick them up. Due to the beautiful weather, the two others decided they were going to ride a motorcycle out to church that day, leaving Grace to ride with me by herself. She was not exactly comfortable with this situation at the outset, being alone in a car with some guy she hardly knew. But it was that or miss church, and I'd already driven out, so to not make a scene, she got in the car.
We began talking and found we had similar standards and backgrounds, and we both liked country music.
That afternoon several of us spent the afternoon at my apartment eating lunch, playing games, listening to music, relaxing. Grace and I continued to talk and get to know each other. I drove her back to school too, and said goodbye.
Over that spring the associate pastor and his wife invited several college students over for extended times of fun and fellowship, watching movies and entertaining their young boys. Grace was able to take some time off studying to attend one of these, so I volunteered to pick her up from school and bring her out to the suburbs so she could spend time with us.
The other Moody students had come out earlier in the day and so again I was able to spend time just with Grace, getting to know her better.
We also spent a Saturday helping some other students move to an apartment off campus. While there were others around, I sought out Grace and helped her and asked her to help me in specific tasks. I was twitterpated. And I believe she knew I was possibly interested in more than friendship.
Our friendship continued to grow and as the semester drew to a close I was trying to decide if I should ask her if we could move into a potentially romantic relationship or talk to her dad first. Various things led me to decide to speak with her dad first, but as I drove her and a mutual friend to the airport that morning in early May I bit my tongue.
Our parting was awkward as our relationship was possibly changing and yet neither of us had mentioned it to each other. We parted with an awkward side hug and I drove to work while she winged her way home to Dallas.
Earlier in the semester she had given me her cell phone number but had informed me her phone was broken and so I had not called her. As she left for the summer, she left a few boxes of things which would not fit in the summer storage at Moody which I was to take to the associate pastor's house for storage. The boxes had her home address.
I spent the weekend visiting friends in Louisville, Kentucky and trying to work up the courage to call her or her dad. I still wasn't very sure of her interest in me and I feared rejection. So I decided to try and talk with her one more time, just to gauge her possible interest.
Leaving Louisville late Sunday afternoon for the long drive back to Chicago, I called her. I'd used the address on her boxes to look up her home phone number in the phone book online. And now the phone was ringing.
Her mother answered.
"Can I speak with Grace, please? This is Matthew, a friend from Chicago."
The phone call and the trip went quickly, all 4 hours of both. And I had my answer. We still had not talked specifically of our relationship, but I knew that if it was that easy for both of us to spend 4 hours talking and with similarities between us in standards and beliefs, I knew I wanted to pursue this lady.
The next day I called her dad. I spoke to him on Tuesday and asked if I could begin courting his daughter.
Over the next few weeks he asked me questions regarding my views and opinions on various matters and eventually told me he and his wife would allow me to court Grace.
I was planning a trip down to Missouri by then to see her for a weekend. She was working at Child Evangelism Fellowship's headquarters outside St. Louis.
June 15th, 2007: The Friday before I drove down to see her, when we were having what by then was a regular evening phone call, I told her I'd been talking to her parents about courting her (she knew that already) and I asked her if she was willing to court me.
She said yes.
Over the summer she traveled to New York to work with children in the projects and other parts of the city, returning to Missouri and then Dallas in August, where I spent a week meeting her family and friends and having fun together.
We flew back to Chicago together: her to begin classes and me to get back to work.
Through the semester and now these months together I grew to appreciate more and more her strength, her tenacious love, her sense of direction and purpose, and her Godliness. Not to mention her beauty and her spirit, her consistency and organization. I knew rather quickly that she was definitely the one I wanted to marry.
Apparently she knew too.
After a winter trip to California meeting my family and friends and receiving further counsel from my parents, I began seriously considering marriage to this wonderful woman God had brought into my life.
After an intense period of counsel, thought, and prayer we were still unsure when the best time would be for our wedding to occur and our marriage to commence: Whether to marry this year or after she graduates in 2010.
Grace and I decided to have a period of time where we were to not contact each other but to spend that time seeking the Lord's will and answers in our lives.
Ending Valentine's Day, 2008, these 7 days were painful but rich, and we both, individually, felt God leading us to marry this year.
In the church parking lot, on February 24, 2008, 1 year and 2 weeks after we'd first met in the Sunday School classroom not too far away, I got down on one knee and asked Grace if she would marry me, be the mother of our children, and my wife.
She said yes!
I get to marry this wonderful woman on August 2, 2008.
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